To learn how to communicate more effectively, learn how to listen first.
The first step in becoming a better communicator is to start being a better listener. Think of targeted marketing. A scatter gun advertising strategy is not as good as one that is targeted to a particular audience.
Listening is the key to identifying your target when you want to get just the right message across to a particular person or group. This is not a matter of passive listening, but of actively probing to get to the core of that the other person feels, wants and would like to see happen.
Just dumping your ideas on people is like throwing darts in the dark. Sure, you might hit the odd target, but in the meantime you come across as insensitive. If you finally hit the target, your audience has been so put off by your monologue that they have stopped listening, not just out of boredom but resentment that you aren’t bothering to listen to them, that you don’t think their views or feelings are worth listening to. So, you try harder, think of other angles or raise your voice. This only makes it worse. The key to effective communication is knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them. First you have to avoid sounding like a police interrogator. Then you have to ask what people think and feel, not just ask for information. Finally, it is essential to find something in what they say to agree with before you express any disagreement.
Now, when you deliver your message, you are in a position to highlight features that are genuinely of interest to your audience. And, they will listen because you have shown respect for their views and needs.
