Suite101 sat down with Dr. Gary Seigel, author of The Mouth Trap which helps employees envision how to plan conversations and emails at work to avoid saying the wrong thing.
Suite101: How does The Mouth Trap help improve one’s communication skills?
Seigel: I have a friend who says that the best thing about The Mouth Trap is that it helps you envision the outcomes in conversations. He says before you have a conversation, decide before opening your mouth what you want to see happen. Most people don’t say to themselves, I want to piss that person off. I want to get that person so mad he’ll never want to speak to me again. That’s not usually the outcome we’re after.
Suite101: Can you describe how that process works?
Seigel: If you envision it, then the words, the body language, the tone, can follow the same vision. I think we want planned conversations. We want emails that are thought out carefully. We want dialogues with our boss that aren’t shooting from the hip. We want to think things out before we open our mouth and that’s what the book is about.
Suite101: Do you have any personal stories regarding your own miscommunication with others?
Seigel: Many years ago I used to teach at a high school. I taught for eight weeks and I quit rather abruptly. In fact I went into the principal’s office and I said “I’m outta here.” And I didn’t realize I parked my car right underneath his window. So when I was leaving, he stuck his thick head out the window and said, “Seigel, you will never get a job in the unified district again.” And then I flipped him a particular finger. I figured, you know when you’re in your twenties, you’re immune from that. You figure you’ll always have work. Three years later I’m at UCLA heading a writing program and we decided to work with principals from all the schools in the area and the person who was my direct supervisor was this same principal.
I realized I had really blown it and although he accepted my apology, we really didn’t have much rapport at all. I realized that our words are important, that what we do whether it’s in our youth or whatever age it is, it’s going to haunt us. Then 10 years later when I was out of teaching and selling a closet to a customer, I knocked on a door and guess who answered, the same man, the principal.
Suite101: Who does this book benefit most?
Seigel: I’ve had people say it’s great for orientation in companies. For example if you’re hiring people, read this book first. It’d be a good survey for them to go through, things that they shouldn’t do, things that they could do to avoid getting themselves into trouble. It’s a compilation of very simple, quick and easy solutions that people can think about before they open their mouth.
It’s based on experiences I’ve heard all over the country and designed for people who are entry level employees such as secretaries, clerks, people on assembly lines, and staff who maybe want to go into management. I even think a CEO would benefit from the skills here.
Learn more tips & tricks from the article: The Mouth Trap: Book Review
Gary Seigel, PhD is president of Fly High Productions, a motivational speaker, performance coach, and consultant. He inspires audiences across the country to write & speak with tact and finesse. His clients include Chevron, Symantec Corp., Farmer’s Insurance, Coldwell Banker, and the United States Navy & Marines. To learn more, visit: Gary Seigel's Website
 |
